5 November 1917 Stuart to Edith - Letter #18

Stuart to Edith
Nov. 5 1917
My Belovéd,
I fear I have not prepared an answer to your last note, although I have been thinking very much about it. I do not quite follow your argument or line of thought, but it seems to me that you are seeking to point out that since we are endowed with free will, it follows that our will cannot be in accordance with the will of God.
I must admit I was not convinced. My thoughts ran something like this – We admit a person has free will, but if he chooses to serve God and to seek to do His will and pleasure, I do not think he loses his free will. Nor is it so with regard to any of the everyday things of life, he simply says that “in all these I choose to do what You would have me do” and he does it willingly. He has made a choice, willingly, and he has always to make the choice, between good and evil, duty and selfishness, and he chooses the good and wishes to do the right, but I do not think his free will is lessened.
Nor does it seem to me so in the case when we ask God to choose friends, position; we wish not to make the choice without His approval and so ask for His guidance; we need not have done so and therefore I think we can say it is done of our free-will.
I may not have made myself clear, because I have written hurriedly; one day perhaps we shall be able to discuss these things.
I can think of nothing nice to say this morning; it is all just “I love you, I love you”. I told you once and it is still true, that I was afraid of loving too much; I am afraid I shall neglect my duty to these at home, and to others.
What your father[1] says is so true, it grows and grows rapidly; I wonder where it will reach in the end.
I must say Good-bye, but not without writing “I love you” again, everyday there comes to me the thought you suggested – One day less to wait till Goodnight will not be Goodbye.
Good bye, Belovéd, Goodbye, Goodbye.

[1] Charles Henry Brown, 29 May 1858 to 24 August 1946 (Edith's father, Sheriff of Oxford 1923, Mayor of Oxford 1932)

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