6 December 1917 Stuart to Edith - Letter #43

Stuart to Edith
Dec. 6 1917
Sweet-heart,
I am afraid this will be very short and perhaps not very nice, as a strain of sadness will possibly be in it. I have lost one of my few friends, and although we had little in common, he was dear to me, and my thoughts turn to him wounded and dying, and to his poor Mother who loved all her family so dearly; her sorrow must be very great.
There are a few things I want to say. First about the “irksome”; I did not think the experience was unpleasant at all, but was afraid it would make the waiting time seem too long. My Belovéd, it is a long time to ask you to wait and public opinion would, I think, condemn me for asking it, but I know now that I had to ask or (horrible thought) lose you, and I do not regret it. I want, however, to help you during that waiting time, to make it happy and pleasant, and that is why I was rather nervous last night. Perhaps it would be best to leave such things for indoors for occasions like Sunday evening, - they will be all the sweeter for being rare, but this is just my thoughts (not opinion) and the final decision I will leave to you.
The next thing is what I tried to say last night. I feel inconsistent; I write to you some of my thoughts and ideas of home life and yet I who have had the opportunity of putting such things into practice have failed to some extent. I think there is no denying that fact, but whether it is my fault or not, I cannot say; I think not altogether, but rather the circumstances under which we have lived. However, Dearest, failure or not, believe me I will try hard with you to make our home perfect especially on the spiritual side.
One more thing. Of course you will fall; because I think you perfect and no one is that, but the falling will not hurt or do any harm, what will hurt (but that will never happen) is when you give up trying, which I don’t think will ever be.
Now Goodbye, Sweetheart, the Best of All Women to me, dream happy pleasant dreams of the days to which we are both looking, be patient during the waiting time and then --- words fail me.
Once again, Goodbye – God be with you, Belovéd, and help you to all that is good and noble and pure, as I trust He will me, so that the end of our waiting may be just Perfection.
Once again Goodbye and thank you for all you are to me.

(c) DearestBeloved 2009